Deep Maternal Love
Nov6
Those who follow me on Twitter occasionally see me talking about “Miss S”, my daughter. A lot of things change when you have kids, I’m sure everyone’s aware of that. What I wasn’t expecting however, were the different ways I would view movie scenes, some commercials and even, in-game story lines. I mean, who would think that having a child would make you all weepy over something that’s in a game, ie something that’s not real?!
Now some players complain about how much quest text there is and that they just want to know the basics and move on. While I agree that in some points it feels like you do more reading/clicking through quest text than actually doing the quests themselves, some of the reads are totally worth it.
For Asmodians, there’s a quest that begins with Arekedil when you hit Altguard. He informs you that the first sound he can remember is the cry of the Daru in the Moslan Forest and that he was an abandoned child. Hunters found him wrapped in a blanket and brought him back to the village where he was raised by the Priest and he never worried about his real parents.
When he ascended, the priet gave him two gifts — a blanket and a necklace. The blanket of course, was the one he was found in. The necklace, was buried inside. Now, Arekedil can’t get the necklace out of his mind, especially as it was clearly valuable and he doesn’t understand someone who could afford such expensive jewlery could also abandon a child…
This is where your journey begins. You are asked to take the necklace and discover the identity of his parents. After stopping past a few people to begin with , you eventually end up in Pandaemoniu and find Annemari, who is shocked to see her necklace. She askes how you came in posession of it and you inform her that it belonged to a friends mother. Annemari informs you that you must be mistaked as she and her husband have no children. She had always thought the necklace to be stolen and declares that one of the boys parents must have been a thief.
Clearly the necklace means a lot to the boy, so she not only allowes him to keep it, but informs you that the necklace and a box she hands you were orginally a pair — that they belong together. She gives you both to return to Arekedil.
When you open the box, you find a letter inside…
The Letter
My dearest baby boy.
I pray to the Five that you are blessed with the strength and courage of your father and the cleverness and determination of your mother. If you are, you will survive the perils I have placed you in and you will grow to one day take the fine necklace I left with you and trace it back to me.
I’m writing you this letter so you will understand why I have to deny you when you confront me with the necklace and why we can never meet again, nor talk as mother and child.
You deserve to know about me and your father and why you had to grow up without us. This secret I have carried silently for decades.
I can only imagine the struggles of your childhood and how much you hate me for abandoning you. Perhaps you will forgive me after reading this letter, or perhaps you will hate me more after discovering the things I have done.
But understand I love you. I abandoned you to safe your life. Grief stabbed my heart when I left my baby in the Moslan Forest, but I had to tear myself away. The Five Shedim Lords would take care of you, I prayed.
I am the daughter of a high priest. Everyone thinks because we are well off, our lives are simple and easy. While I suffer no physical or financial hardship, the emotional toll on my life has been hard. My family arranged for my marriage into another family of priests when I was very young. For years I had duties to both my father and my betrothed. I carried out those public appearances being the person they need me to be and burying my own self deep inside.
My life was routine and regimented. While I attended countless banquets and lavish feasts, I was always shunted to the background. Even at those celebrating my father or fiance, I was not allowed to garner any more attention than a plate or a piece of furniture.
Your father, Jefaln, was born in Morheim. He had no Daeva nor nobility in his family. In Pandaemonium, no one really thinks much of a Daeva from humble beginnings, but Jefaln was a fighter of great renown. He distinguished himself for his skills in combat and his ability to lead large alliances in the Abyss.
Many nobles tried to ignore Jefaln. However, they eventually had to respect and promote him, as he kept winning and distinguishing himself in the war. My father and I first met Jefaln at a feast celebrating one of his many victories. As the dancing began, I sat to the side with my eyes downcast at the floor.
Then, Jefaln approached me. He gently put one finger under my chin and lifted my face until our eyes met. His broad smile was infectious. I couldn’t help but smile back. “This beautiful lady doesn’t seem to know how to enjoy herself. Let me show you.”
He took my hand and pulled me to my feet. Everyone seemed to be shocked while my father just looked angry. Jefaln was the hero of the feast, it would have been unseemly to reject him.
I expected the big burly warrior to be clumsy and rough, but he wasn’t — his touch was light and tender, his handing smooth and graceful. His hands were warm where they touched my skin. Dancing with him made my heart pound so hard I was sure he could hear it. He certainly only seemed to have eyes for me. Until that moment, I had realized how unappreciated I had felt — how my father and fiance had taken me for granted.
When the music ended and we bowed, Jefaln gently tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear and whispered, “I’ll wait under your window just to gaze upon your beauty once again.”
Upon arriving back home that night, my father burst into a rage. An insolent Daeva of humble origins dared to ask his engaged daughter to dance. While his rage was boiling over, I could think of only one thing: “I have to go open the window.”
It was hours before my father settled to sleep and I felt secure enough to approach the window. Jefaln was still standing under the window just as he had promised. As soon as I opened the window, he flew up to me. He took my hand and asked, “Do you trust me?” At my nod, he spread his wings and turned to fly off. His battle-strengthened wings were beautiful and I stood awe-struck until his gentle tug on my hand urged me on.
We flew very far and more than once Jefaln had to pause and wait for me. But he was never impatient about it. Eventually we arrived at the remove canopy of some grove. I could never find that grove again, even though I have tried on occasion.
Nothing untoward happened that first night. We sat in the tree-tops and talked all night. We talked about our parents, our childhood, our ascension. What touched me the most was his frankness about his worries and fears. As a Legion leader he couldn’t show his fear to his troops, but that didn’t make him immune to is. As we talked, he held my hand. And the more we talked, the more I liked him. I guess he felt the same as well.
I arrived back home just as the household was awakening. The lack of sleep should have exhausted me, but instead I felt exhilarated and more alive than I had since childhood.
We never planned our meetings. Every night I left my window open hoping to spend some time with Jefaln, and as his duty schedule allowed we would meet in the very latest hour of the night. To evade others’ eyes and ears, we’d fly off to a different location every time — a waterfall, an abandoned theater.
Over several weeks of meetings, our friendship blossomed and grew strong. He became my best friend. Some nights we’d talk non-stop. Some nights we’d sit silently all night long. Either way, we were happy being together.
I met each day joyful, energetic and full of life. Eager for the chance to see him each night. My family noticed a difference and learned I had a new friend, but didn’t know whom I had befriended. When I accidentally let it slip that my friend was a man, my father and fiance both flew into a rage. I was angry and obstinate — I wouldn’t give up an innocent friendship over unwarranted mistrust or jealousy.
More secretive and clever than ever, we continued meeting. One night Jefaln was deeply troubled. As I listened to him talk, he gently tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, like he had the first night on the dance floor. But this time, his hand lingered on my neck. He caressed my neck and shoulder and leaned in and kissed me. For the first time in my life I cursed my privileged life and obligations. But I didn’t resist. I kissed him back.
We awoke the next morning in each other’s arms. Other mornings like that followed. Our friendship had changed by neither of us regretted it. With my impending marriage and his work, we both knew and talked openly about how our relationship could not last forever, but I always hoped it would.
His duty sent him to the Abyss. Weeks went by without a word or meeting. I missed his touch and conversation terribly. I then I overheard tavern patrons talking of how Jefaln had died on the battlefield in the Abyss with no Obelisk to insure his own immortality. Upon hearing that he was killed, I became so distressed that I passed out.
In the midst of utter despair, I found myself pregnant with you. Upon confirming my pregnancy, I packed up a few clothes and all my money and left Pandaemonium. Knowing my father would not allow me to bear Jefaln’s baby, I had to run away to protect you. I could not let them find me. I had to keep on the move.
After travelling all across Asmodae, I finally gave birth to you in Altguard. Soon after, my father caught up with me there. To keep you a secret, I abandoned you in the forest before I was caught my by pursuers.
I believe my father somehow learned about my friendship with Jefaln and had something to do with his death in the Abyss. If he was capable of that, he is capable of destroying a small baby. Because my father might kill you, I have kept your existence secret, and so must you.
I left you the necklace in the hope you could find me some day and learn the truth. But that truth is fgor you alone. Nobody may learn the truth of our past.
I was hauled back to Pandaemonium in the end. Most people believed it was just wedding jitters.
Married now, I have returned to my old life — a puppet of society. My husband is a good man and doesn’t server the pain this truth would bring him. But my love goes with you. I still live in the hope of letting you know about me and your father.
For your own safety, I could not raise you but have always prayed that you would grow into a fine man and live happily.
Looking back at the regrets in my life, I don’t regret my time with Jefaln. I don’t regret the fruit of our love. I only wish I had secured you a safe home instead of leaving it to fate. In the end, all I could do was abandon you in the Moslan Forest.
I would never ask you to forgive me for this. But please, remember something for me.
Your father was a wonderful and respectable man who did much for Asmodae. He died without knowing about you.
You are his legacy to Asmodae.


































